


midday

by naktoms



Category: Daenamhyup | DNH, Just Music Entertainment
Genre: Drinking, M/M, Mild Smut, Minor Violence, this is... messy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-23
Updated: 2015-09-23
Packaged: 2018-04-23 01:24:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4857911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naktoms/pseuds/naktoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The sun rises, the sun sets, and they are caught between.</p>
            </blockquote>





	midday

**Author's Note:**

> cindy gave me this idea like three weeks ago and i just now wrote it. it doesn't even really do her idea justice, and i'm sad about that, but eh.  
> kudos + comments are appreciated!!

Being friends with Siyoung is a lot of things.

It’s bloody bandaids across knuckles, it’s watching sunsets on the hood of his truck, it’s feeling cold and numb but hot and alive all at once. It’s whiskey and cigarettes and too little clothing and it’s something that Hunchul wants to say but that the liquor keeps at bay. It’s ripped clothes and snickers behind hands, pointing at Hunchul, goading, judging.

It’s early mornings and Siyoung’s growly morning voice and elbows rubbing in the bathroom, mirror too small to allow adequate space. It’s insincere smiles and muttered promises and Siyoung breaking every one of them by day’s end.

It’s something deeper than all of this, something living in Hunchul’s bones and reflected in Siyoung’s eyes. It’s something pure, gentle, unlike everything else about them. It’s a waste of time.

Hunchul deals with a lot.

The most frequent occurrence is the fights that Siyoung always manages to get himself in. He always smells of liquor and smoke when he turns up at Hunchul’s doorstep, lip split and eyes bruised, stumbling and coughing into the back of his hand when Hunchul lets him in.

Siyoung collapses on his couch and Hunchul barely spares him a glance before going off to his bathroom, getting the antibiotic ointment and the bandaids and coming back.

“Don’t need it,” Siyoung mutters when Hunchul dabs at one of the leaking cuts on his face with his sleeve. “Don’t need your help.”

“Then why are you here?” Hunchul replies, irritation flaring in his chest.

“Need a place to sleep.”

“You’re not sleeping on my couch with all this blood on you.” Hunchul says, and Siyoung sighs. However, he offers no further argument, so Hunchul sets about unwrapping bandaids and smearing antibiotic onto them before sticking them haphazardly on Siyoung’s face and hands.

Hunchul hesitates a moment before kissing directly over one of the bandaids on Siyoung’s hand, a big one covering up the ugliest cut. He holds Siyoung’s hand until Siyoung pulls it away, dragging a hand down his face and knocking his glasses off in the process.

“Do you want some ice for your eye?” Hunchul asks, straightening from his former crouching position. Siyoung shakes his head, barely tousling his hair. Hunchul thinks that maybe he’d look cute if his face wasn’t covered in brown bandaids and smears of blood. “Go to sleep, Siyoung.” Hunchul says eventually, reaching over to run a hand through Siyoung’s bangs.

Siyoung groans in response, and Hunchul goes to return the things to the bathroom. He looks at his reflection in the mirror and wonders when he’ll finally turn Siyoung away.

****  
  


Siyoung has such solid walls surrounding him. Hunchul has gotten good at guessing when those walls will collapse.

They fall at 3 AM, they fall after a few beers, they fall the morning after they fuck and Hunchul’s petting his hair. They fall after Siyoung lets Hunchul look through his lyric book and they fall after Hunchul lets Siyoung look through his in turn.

And Hunchul can also tell when they go back up. He can see Siyoung retreating back into safety, not at risk of feeling something, scared of saying something he didn’t want Hunchul to know.

Hunchul is good at keeping his own walls in check, but instead of keeping people out, their purpose is to keep things from escaping. But sometimes, he makes mistakes that cost him weeks of sleep.

This is one of them. “Do you not trust me?”

Siyoung looks up from his phone, quirking an eyebrow. “Yes? You’re a pretty trustworthy dude, I guess.”

Hunchul can’t find proper words to explain what he’s trying to get at. It’s painful and tugs at his brain. “I- I mean, like…” He drags a hand down his face, taking a few deep breaths. “You never- you just… You don’t act like it.”

“How am I supposed to act like it?” Siyoung asks, returning to whatever he’s doing on his phone.

Hunchul wants to back out. Forget I said anything, Siyoung. He knows Siyoung would accept it and not press on because he understands the value of privacy. “We feel like acquaintances,” Hunchul says at last, not looking at Siyoung. When he’s met with silence, he continues. “We’ve known each other for almost four years, but I feel like I don’t know anything about you.”

“Do you want to?”

Not what Hunchul expected. “Of course I do.”

Siyoung puts his phone aside, and Hunchul sees it. A rare occurrence of midday wall sieging. “I’m sad and I like instant ramen.” Siyoung says. Simple enough, but it looks like it pains Siyoung, who curls in on himself like he’s been wounded.

Hunchul pushes. “Why are you sad?”

Siyoung licks his lips, contemplative. “I- I’ve- A lot of things. I bury it. It comes back. I…” Crumbling brick and busted mortar. “I can’t get rid of it so I hide from it. It’s… It’s not working anymore.”

Hunchul opens his mouth to speak, but the fortress across the room collapses. “You make me feel okay,” Siyoung whispers, taking his glasses off and pressing his fingertips to his closed eyes. “You make me feel like I’m- I’m not… a failure, at everything, even though I am.”

“You’re not a failure,” Hunchul says quietly. He’s stuck between giving Siyoung adequate space and wanting to hold him in his arms.

“It’s the reason why I always come over here when something’s happened,” Siyoung continues, ignoring Hunchul’s reassurance. “When I went out and got drunk when I promised I wouldn’t, when I got into a fight that I couldn’t win and got my fucking ass beat, all that shit… even if I just sleep when I get here it makes me feel better.” Seconds, minutes, maybe an eternity until Siyoung speaks again. He takes his hands away from his face and there are tears. “You care about me.”

A statement, not a question, because Siyoung knows it’s true. Hunchul nods anyway. “I care about you a lot,” Hunchul says quietly, watching as Siyoung wipes his eyes with the back of his hand.

“God fucking dammit, this is embarrassing. Can you come here?” Siyoung asks, and Hunchul doesn’t think he’s ever heard him sound so vulnerable, almost scared.

Hunchul stands and walks across the room, sitting on the couch beside Siyoung. “I’ve always cared about you a lot,” he continues once he’s settled. He sees Siyoung’s lip quiver.

“You’re the only one that does,” Siyoung says, barely a whisper. Hunchul puts his arm around his shoulders and pulls him close.

A precious city, laid bare with nothing protecting it. Riches within that Siyoung was protecting with his very life.

Hunchul has to learn how to live being attached.

Before, he would push it aside, ignore it because he didn’t want to deal with it. But now that Siyoung’s no longer hiding how much he needs Hunchul just to survive, it’s hard.

Siyoung says, “Can you tell me you love me? I think I just really need that right now but I won’t get it from my parents, or anyone else.” Pause. “I don’t want to hear it from anyone else.”

It’s so hard, but so easy. Hunchul speaks like the words have been waiting under his breath for years. “I love you, Siyoung.” Pause. “I really do.”

“Can you tell me again?” Siyoung asks, and he seems so fragile, like he’s in danger of falling apart and Hunchul is putting tape over his cracks.

“I love you,” Hunchul repeats quietly, reaching over to take one of Siyoung’s hands in his. Siyoung holds Hunchul’s hands tightly, scars across his knuckles standing out with the pressure.

“This is weird, isn’t it… I love you too, thank you for everything.”

Hunchul almost wishes they were the same as they were before. But he thinks that’s just because he got too used to cold stone beneath his hands when he pushed for questions, answers, anything. Now he actually gets it.

Feeling appreciated and wanted by the person he’s looked after for what seems like ages is so strange. Even though Hunchul’s been wanting it for forever, it still falls strangely heavy in his chest.

“Are you thinking about something?” Siyoung asks. He sounds scared.

“Yeah.” Pause. “I’m thinking about us. It is weird.” Another pause. “I like it.”

A sunrise instead of a sunset. Flourishing instead of dying. Hands held and promises kept and the most beautiful feeling in the world sinking into Hunchul’s bones.

Acceptance. Fulfillment. Happiness. _Love_.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! if you liked this, consider [commissioning me!](http://vampirehansol.tumblr.com/post/129516478991/jesses-fic-commissions)


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